Well, it’s official.
Today is my fortieth birthday. Yup, it’s been four decades of life for this gal. I’ve delighted some folks, pissed off others, and picked up some wisdom along the way.
If I’ve learned anything in my 40 years, it’s that happiness is a choice, good hair products are more than just a passing phase, and taking care of myself is a must. Not to mention, it IS possible to get better with age.
And there’s a few more nuggets of wisdom that I’ve learned along the road. Perhaps some of you old folks can relate to these wise words?
10. Love at first site is bullsh*t. There’s no such thing as a soulmate.
For any young readers out there, I’m sorry to burst your bubble with this fun fact. The truth is, if you fall in love at first sight and sleep with someone you’ve just met (a.k.a. a stranger), it’s simply evidence that you have bad boundaries. Falling in ‘love’ right away has nothing to do with a soulmate connection or ‘higher force’ bringing you together. It’s lust, honey. You are horny.
And while we’re on the topic, when you hear someone gushing about their “soulmate,” this is the kiss of death. Mark my words, that relationship with will end sooner or later. The truth is, we could enjoy life with many different people. But finding lasting love is all about compromise, shared values, freedom and respect. It’s not about a magical connection that we are powerless against.
9. Some people will always be haters.
Some people just don’t like me – I’ve come to terms with this. Although more people love me than hate me, there’s still a few sour folks out there. It’s not that it feels good to have people gossiping behind my back and shooting me the stink-eye whenever possible, I just refuse to give it any power. The less you care, the less stressed you will be.
Haters will always be hatin’, and I’ve discovered that their negative attitude has absolutely nothing to do with me. It’s all about them.
8. We create drama when we’re bored with our lives.
The human condition is to create problems/crisis/drama when you are bored and unsatisfied with your own life. Been there, done that, but happy to recognize this unflaterring behavior and move past the games now that I’m a proper adult.
7. You get what you want by working your a$$ off.
Long gone are the days of dreaming for the ‘perfect’ marriage, husband, house, children, etc., etc. Once you’ve turned 40, you know that hard work brings results. You won’t get your dream job right off the bat, your marriage won’t be easy even if you choose a wonderful guy, and your kids won’t be magically well-adjusted people. You better work for that stuff, b*tch.
6. Karma is real. You get what you deserve.
Whether it’s instant or bites your butt in the future, karma always has a way of coming back. What goes around comes around, so you better be ready to face the truth when it is finally revealed.
5. Prioritizing exercise and self-care is the key to happiness.
Nobody and nothing is going to make you happy. No house, car, waistline, wardrobe, man, friend or job is going to turn that frown upside down. Personal freedom comes from within, and you are the CEO of your own happiness.
Although it can be hard to make the time for myself – especially with three kids, a husband, a home to maintain, a job, etc. – it is critical to prioritize myself. As the saying goes, if mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy!
4. True friends are rare.
Good friends are hard to find, and if you have a handful of pals who have stood by you through the drama, expanding waistlines, drained bank accounts, poor choices and hard times, then you should count yourself lucky. I’m blessed to have a handful of b*tches who would do anything for me. How did I get so lucky?
3. Size matters.
Just jokes! It doesn’t. No, seriously, it doesn’t. Be proud of who you are and what your mama gave you. Confidence makes you sexy. Period.
2. Family is all that matters.
Even if your family unit isn’t the most sophisticated bunch, or you don’t agree all the time, or you don’t really enjoy each others’ company, make the time for each other.
It always breaks my heart when things like religion, or social status, or sexual orientation, or just plain jealousy gets in the way of family connections. You know who you are….stop being so silly and reach out to your family members before it’s too late.
1. If you have your health, you have everything.
I learned this at a young age when my dad was diagnosed with ALS. All of life’s petty dramas equate to nothing when you are faced with a terminal illness. Life has a way of coming into focus when you’re faced with mortality.
I hope most of you will never have to experience this level of illness in your lives. Count yourselves lucky to be healthy and able to live your life to the fullest. All the drama and negativity simply doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
Let it go and let love in.
We’ll see if I’ll have some more insights in the next decade. Until then, dance like nobody’s watching and love like you’ve never been hurt.
